Monday, June 24, 2024

Understanding abusive relationships and finding support

by Handy Mag
Published: Updated:

Is your relationship healthy or toxic?

What is an abusive relationship?

An abusive relationship starts with one person trying to gain power and control over the other. This can sometimes look like they are being very intense or possessive. Their control may be disguised as concern for your wellbeing. It can be confusing and isolating. Abusive relationships might not be bad all the time. Sometimes, after an incident, things get a bit better, but they often get worse again. Abuse can happen in all sorts of relationships including marriages, partnerships and between close family members. It can also continue after a relationship has ended.

Did you know that as many as 1 in 4 women and 1 in 12 men may be subjected to domestic abuse?

The police recorded 1,500,369 domestic abuse-related incidents and crimes in England and Wales in the year ending March 2022. This is just the tip of the iceberg.

In the most rural areas, abuse lasts approximately 25% longer than in urban areas. The more rural the area the higher risk of harm. Rural isolation can be weaponised by abusers who may interfere with or cut people off from their support networks.*

How can IDAS help?

IDAS (Independent Domestic Abuse Services) is a charity who can give emotional and practical support. Talking to IDAS can help you to make sense of what is happening and feel more confident making decisions. IDAS workers will listen to you and explain how they can help to keep you safe. They won’t ever tell you what to do. You do not need to report to the Police to get support.

IDAS have offices across North Yorkshire and workers who can offer appointments in discrete locations as well as support over the phone or by email. You can get in touch if you have any questions or concerns about your own relationship, a friend or family member.

Carmel Offord, a spokesperson for IDAS said: “Often people are worried about getting in touch to ask for support. Our teams are caring and wont judge you, they will listen and provide information and guidance so that you can make your own decisions. You can talk over the phone and in some cases arrange to meet in person in a safe place. We’ll help to keep you safe. If you are worried about yourself or someone you know please get in touch, you are not alone.”

Volunteers needed

IDAS are looking for volunteer Champions living in Ryedale who can help to raise awareness of domestic abuse and sexual violence and the services available to support people. Visit the ‘Get Involved’ section of the website for more information.

For information about IDAS please visit
IDAS also run a Live Chat on the website where you can access advice and support from their experienced workers. This runs 1 pm – 4 pm Monday – Friday.
IDAS also have a confidential helpline: 03000 110 110.

*Domestic-Abuse-in-Rural-Areas-National-Rural-Crime-Network.pdf (

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