We have all tried to talk to friends about something that has got our goat and they have immediately launched into a story about when the same happened to them (and that is part of our normal human interaction).
We have talked about a problem and have been told exactly what we should do (we feel annoyed by now). We have tried to say we are upset or anxious and have been told ‘oh, you’ll be fine’ (so we have learned not to talk about feelings). In the end we feel that we haven’t been heard.
We may feel dissatisfied or ‘out of sorts’, anxious or depressed. We might behave ‘out of character’ or be trying to deal with a significant event or a relationship that has an on-going impact on our daily life. These are the times when we need someone to really listen and to hear how we are feeling so that we can hear ourselves and work out what we need.
My role as a counsellor is not to tell you what to do, but rather to help you to listen to yourself. To help you to explore your thoughts, feelings and behaviours so that you can find out what matters to you. To listen to ourselves can be surprisingly difficult. We might not like what we hear, or the implications might be quite scary. More often, feeling that we have been really heard can help us to rearrange our mental furniture and see things in a new way.
The most important thing is to find a counsellor who can help you to feel that you have been heard so that you can hear yourself.
Louise Redshaw offers half price ‘taster’ sessions on weekdays and Saturdays in Ryedale.